what was i made for?

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2 min readAug 11, 2023

As a child, I used to know what I want for myself.

As a child, I used to have many dreams.

As a child, I used to get excited for growing up.

But not until I grow up now, there is a moment that I just want to stop time. I hate how the world moves to fast. Being an adult you realize that’s the worst part of it. Mother, I am still figuring out everything — but life forced me to live without knowing the meaning of it sometimes. Everything seems so far away and it doesn’t feel the same. I don’t know what it is.

Growing up being a woman makes me realize too that it is hard.

There is a day that I love being a woman, but the next day I find a reason to hate being a woman living in this cruelest world.

Born into the flames of womanhood, you were always taught to be quiet, subservient, softness, and adaptive — to finish each phrase by letting honey drop from your mouth’s corners. You’re told to keep your opinion to yourself. Everything you want to say, you swallow.

Will I be something? Am I something? It will always be like this, it will always be like this. They will tell you that there is really nothing wrong.

But don’t you think that’s too much?

Don’t you think it’s time to stop holding back?

Why is it always unfair to us. To woman. To being just a girl who wants to be ourselves.

I am full of rage. I am trying to find the words for who I am. The transition from girlhood. Pain and womanhood.

Regular womanhood with regular women living regular lives. Average women and imperfect women. Women who can’ t be what society expect them to be. Women who just are and you are not less worthy, because woman itself is not about ideal but instead a person with imperfections too.

The world goes on, you do not have to be good. The woman that you are now is more than enough. You’re doing great. Always.

I hope we can all continue to wear pink and make outfits for concerts or doing make up with your girl friends and celebrate each other and dance freely without being afraid. I hope you keep love being a woman.

To be free and to be just a girl and a woman at the same it.

I think that’s what make us beautiful.

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