You’re the one thing I swear I can’t outgrow.
It’s funny how fate brings us to meet each other again right now in our ‘used to be’ favorite place. He is standing there while holding his favorite camera in his right hand. You still remember it all. The smile, the words, the laugh that you shared together back then. It still lingers on your mind.
“Hai,” A familiar voice called you with that soft smile on his face. “It’s nice to see you around again.”
It feels so awkward somehow that you can’t even recognize him anymore — like you meet as two different strangers again. But maybe it can also feel so nice to meet your great lost love. Your puppy love. Maybe. There is something about him that makes you wonder, maybe the way he talked to you that you can tell he has become more mature which makes him even more attractive.
How is it now that somehow you’re a stranger — you’re mine just yesterday?
“It’s been awhile ya ternyata.” You said and smiled back at him.
Both of you decided to sit down on the grass just like the old times and tried to talk to each other again. It just feels like yesterday, by second, minute, day, week. We went through with laughs, smiles, and happiness. Too short, but the memories will always be remembered. Oh, please stop thinking about the past, can’t you?
And now there he goes trying to open a conversation with, “How’s life?”
“My life has been fine lately. Lo sendiri gimana?”
“Ya gini-gini aja gue, tapi so far oke lah,” He tilted his head to look at you. “Oh iya btw Mama masih suka nanyain kabar lo.”
You gave him a surprised look. “Your mom still talks to you about me? Lah emangnya lo masih belom cerita ke mama kalo kita — ,”
“Belom,” He shook his head. “Lagipula you’re the daughter she’s always wanted. I know it will only hurt her to distance from you, jadi ya gue belom ngomong apa-apa.”
You blinked in disbelief at what you just heard. “It’s been two years, Jun. Lagian kan gue masih bisa tetep stay in touch sama nyokap lo tanpa harus kayak gini.”
The silence fell again and all you could hear was the camera sounds clicking that he made. “Sorry kalo bikin lo gak nyaman, nanti gue bakal ngomong ke Mama deh.”
“Gak gitu maksudnya…” You uttered.
“Iya ngerti kok gue, gak usah gak enakan gitu. Beneran masih gak berubah juga ya lo ternyata haha,” He laughed and all of a sudden you felt that his left hand pat your head which surprised you. “Cute.”
I beg you, please, don’t be like this.
You have poured them into the ocean, but the waves dragged you. Drowning into the memories you tried to let go, it all still remains all over your skin. His laugh creeps in, saving all of the air inside your lungs.
“Oh sama gue mau minta maaf soal waktu itu,” He continued talking. “Sorry waktu itu gue tiba-tiba telepon lo jam dua pagi, I wasn’t sober enough and it leads me did something stupid. Gue lupa deh ngomong apa aja tapi gak penting juga lah sekarang.”
Bold of you to assume that I already forget about everything, when in fact I still remember every single detail that happened that day. The way you babbled saying you miss me, the way you said you’re sorry, and the way you asked me did I ever regret all of this on the phone.
I nodded pretending that I forgot about that day. “Iya, santai aja lagian udah lama juga itu.”
“So we’re cool now?” He held out his hand inviting me to shake his hands as if making a deal.
I giggled. “Ya cool lah dari dulu juga kan gak berantem, lo ada-ada aja.”
“Sebenernya sekalian mau ngucapin congrats soalnya denger-denger someone just got accepted to study abroad next August.” He smiled softly at you. “One of your dreams that you’ve been talking about is finally here ya.”
“Kok lo bisa tau?!” You furrowed your eyebrows at him.
“Ya tau lah, informan gue dimana-mana.” He replied jokingly. “Tapi, serius, congrats ya. You’re still the coolest girl I’ve known, asli lo keren banget, it must be really nice if I can still accompany you around until this day just like what we promised haha.”
Well, the universe was not kind enough to grant us the promise we once made and shared. Now withers away as seasons come and go. But you will always remember him the way his eyes shine and lingers. Like a shadow that never fades away.
And if something is sad while it’s ending, it must have been wonderful while it was happening. Loving you was amazing, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. In another life, I wish we will be stars in the same constellation instead. Until then, I will continue to support you from afar.
This time she’ll let go and finally be fine.
