”Why all of sudden?” you asked.
”It’s not sudden. The dream that I’ve been chasing is finally in front of my eyes, you want me to give it up again for this city? I don’t think I can do that.” The way he answered you was very far from what you had imagined.
It’s not what you mean.
“You’re always being like that like I never know anything. Lately … I just don’t know you anymore,” you answered it.
“You don’t need to make it sound like such a big deal.” he respond again.
“So, it’s not a BIG deal for you?” you chuckled. “Fine! Just do what you want to do. I don’t want to give any shit anymore.”
Wrong. I still care for everything that you do. You just doesn’t know anymore. Your mind is filled with negative thoughts, pain, anger, and sadness.
You are just so emotionally exhausted after having another week of silence between the two of you.
He furrowed his brows down at your words. He’s taken aback and just like that — he answered again, “I get it that you’re exhausted. But you’re not the only one who feels tired in here,”
“But, well, fine. You’ll do whatever you want to do too. I think this thing between us doesn’t work out anymore. This whole situation… doesn’t make me feel like home anymore.”
His words just passed through your ears. He wasn’t like this before. You think to yourself. Somehow you just want him to wrap his arms around you after you had a fight like before. He always knows how to resolve things between the two of you. For three years, he always knows how to make you feel better.
But he isn’t like that anymore. Now he left you behind, all alone, after those drunken arguments between you two at 2 A.M in K-Town.
No more spending Friday nights in K-Town after chaotic weekdays to release stress with him anymore. No more random jokes that he made while strolling around in K-Town too. No more seeing beautiful smile that he gave just for you as your favorite things to see ever again.
Your lover left for New York with chaotic scenery and busy streets while you’re on your own living with the streets perfect for people with cars.
Did you eat well? Did you rest well? Are you on the Subway right now or are you getting on the L-Train? She kept asking that in her mind ever since that day. The day when he chose to let it all go and left what he had in the City of Angels to pursue one of his biggest dreams.
And now you can only hear about him from his friends. You can only see his face from his instagram. One of your friends said you already have a girlfriend there. I hope that eases the pain and I hope she holds you like I do.
Every time you hear his friends mention your name, you always feel empty and colder. All you think about is oh, Manhattan must be really nice to you then while you’re still here being faithful in the City of Angels — hoping that he remember to miss you.
—
By: retrockstar
