‘Tsunami’ is for the girls who are afraid to love, who never thought that they could finally fall in love again without intention to do so in the most beautiful way, who are in denial, and who try so hard not to catch feelings but instead they are drowning now because in the end at least you give it a try.
I’ve been busy hiding, building walls, pushing people away — self sabotage. Calculated, distant, and unavailable. I build them up to protect myself from getting hurt again. The thought of love and being loved is just so scary, complex, and strange for me. The fear of getting pain keeps haunting me down.
What thing worthy of love can be found in me?
I am full of rage and hurricane. I drink a gasoline when I feel a spark. I live my life in a constant state of grief, always wander deeper into my mind despite being already lost, and I fear I feel too much until I ruin everything.
All the fear and the fire.
But here you are — coming like a wave in the ocean, shake my earth, suck the air, and burn me down. What’s heavy, it becomes light now.
You speak and the wind change from the very first day. Your laughter growing into my heart, it makes my heart keeps beating like crazy. I know I felt like this before, but now I’m feeling it even more.
This time, love, still, has me in a chokehold — unless something strange happens. I want to tell you, my head is filled with so many things that I want to say but when you’re here … all those words, they seem slip away.
Don’t turn from me, please.
I am drowning in the deepest of truths, because sometimes you meet someone, people, throughout your life, out of nowhere under the stranger circumstances and they help you feel alive again.
It makes you believe in something.
So I just let the feelings come in, cause fuck it, i think I am falling so hard for you.
By falling, it means it can be falling in love and falling apart at the same time. I begin to realize that love has to be like that, it’s not only butterflies and sunsets all the time. As long as I am with you.
Now you’re here, just take me with you, take me in your arms.
I let this feelings take the lead and guide me wherever it is going.
Because, I do like you.
Would you be there to catch me, too?
I am still afraid to write the stronger word.
I want to love you and I don’t want to be scared to say it out loud.
I will love and I will survive.
I hope you too. I hope when this kind of love comes, you will welcome it with your open arms wholeheartedly. Without hesitation and doubts. I hope you believe that it’s the love that you deserve.
You will love and you will survive.
