Magnets are for the girls who are in love but still in the denial phase, for the daughters who build a high wall to protect themselves from getting hurt, for the silently hoping for more, for the people who yearn for something but refuse to demand because you don’t want to ruin your friendship, it is for the one who settled in ‘more than friends but less than lovers’ type of relationship, and for the one who finally accept that things like connections are meant to pull up closer no matter how much you resist it.
It is also for the anaheim girls who are ready to take the risks and commitment.
Everything was the same for years, every morning he would pick me up and take me somewhere. Everyday he would walk me to each places, he would accompany me to eat breakfast with me, and he would drive me back home after we hung out. Everyday was the same yet so different.
We share the same problems and personalities, you bring out the goofy in me, and you are the chaos that I can’t escape.
Are you the one or are you just a mirror?
As time goes by, I am feeling drawn to each other that I can’t explain what kind of this feeling is. Your name suddenly is humming everywhere, in my dream, inside my chest. It’s suffocating me, what does it all come down to, where it leads us. It keeps haunting me. You are always being good to me , your action is not what kind of friends do in general and somehow wasting time with you has been the biggest joy in my life.
The idea of being friends with you is the very least that I could do. At least, I know what you are up to. At least, receiving is better than nothing. At least, we are close. You are just a friend and I know that this is the feeling that I can ignore.
Is it love? I keep denying it — trying to explain away through planets and astrology, but still useless. Each time I push the thoughts away, you’re pulling me in again and again and again. We are not friends, not lovers, but rather a secret and more complex.
Can you feel the steady thrum when we sit side by side?
It’s electric when our fingers brush, quit acting like we’re not two magnets.
Every time you’re around me, the question keeps coming back. What kind of feelings is this? When our fingers touched and he held me so softly, how I wished he wouldn’t let me go. The feeling is unexplainable, it gets stuck in my throat, it’s somewhere to go, even when it’s bad , it still feels so good. I don’t wanna beg, but I know you can feel it. The aching, the feeling, and the longing. I feel tender for him — hopeless tenderness.
How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before. You’ll never see, but you will know. The strong emotions we feel from the push and pull of an undefined situation, it makes me want more while the loss we have. I believe that not all feelings can be explained.
At some moment, I’d rather love you in silence than lose you altogether. But also, I’d rather die than be friends. So go ahead, when your heart is calling for something more, pursue what you truly want, take the chance before it’s too late. Don’t hold back anymore.
Desperation still sits heavy on my tongue, but I couldn’t care less if this ends. So this time I’ll take the risk.
