I met my younger self for a coffee today.
She arrived early and I was just right on time – we’ve always hated being late. Actually I am not ready to met her, because this version of me is the one my future self has yet to meet. Right now, I am still figuring out about life and make mistakes.
She was confused while looking at the menu and I smiled trying to comfort her. She ordered a milk chocolate, I got my iced coffee — extra two shots.
As we sat down, she asked me:
“You like coffee now? It’s not good for your health.”
I laughed and said, “It keeps me sane.”
She also asked if we’re loved, made it out, happy, and being a career woman.
I didn’t answer, but instead I showed her pictures of places that we’ve been to, the best friend that we found along the way, our degree that we never thought would get it in the first place because she used to have a dream to be an architect, and our work that we still figuring out but it could be a blessing to learn from.
She was trying to please everyone around her, I put my peace first and trusting God’s plan. I wish I could tell her how much changes when you stop surviving and just living — enjoying the process.
She sat quietly for a moment and asked me another question with her eyes full of doubt, as if unsure how life turns out. “Do we survive? Do dreams still burn? Do hopes stay alive?”
“The road is rough, but yes, we do. You’ll lose some friends, you’ll change your mind, you’ll leave old versions far behind. You’ll break, you’ll bend, but in the end, you’ll learn to love, you’ll learn to mend.”
Her fingers traced the cup, a quiet way to hide her curiosity. “And what of joy?”
“Does laughter last behind the mask?”
I reached across until my hand met hers. “Joy will find you, unawares. You start to love yourself and accept your weakness. Not in the way you think it should, but in small moments — real and good.”
I told her, “I love you.”
Hugged her, whispered to remind her that she is amazing, neither of us is perfect, but we are more than enough. Before I left, I turned to say, “I am proud of you and you’ll be okay, don’t worry, I am still carrying your dreams.”
