Heirloom Pain is for the girls who know that they will make it no matter how hard it is, people who always try to fit in and their best, so much plans for all their hopes just to end up being the burned out gifted kid, and to the person who just want to makes their loved ones proud.
Big hugs to those who grew up carrying heirloom pain.
Feel like a deadbat dad — an analogy to a similar feeling of hollow and emptiness, people forced us to be an adult once we reach our 20s, figuring things out are our meal. I mourn what could have been, what will not be, and what I can’t be. Grieving the person I used to be. All the daughters turn into blood-soaked after years of licking and hiding their own wounds.
Life will always surprise you, but you have to live with that.
The cycle is just repetitive. One day I feel like I am healed, but the next day I feel not okay. I was born with something rotten inside me, dad’s temper and mom’s mistakes, home is not a home sometimes, given responsibility to understand everyone, it makes me who I am today.
I don’t know what’s going on with me, it has to be perfect.
How many times someone should have helped me? I miss who I used to be. It seems that when life gets hard, I have to get and try harder to match. Build a pillow barricade so the ghosts can’t get to me. But they said I haven’t lost who I am, I am just different now and that’s okay.
What if I can’t make it?
To be a human is to fail and make mistakes. Everyone does. Wake up tired and vaguely sore, you’ll be fine because you always end up just fine. If you missed a day, there will be next. There is so much more life to live. The life has not forgotten you.
Be whoever you want to be, life’s a gamble and you’ll have to live with that.
I think we are a collection of all the things that have ever happened to us. To realize you will always be you, spent most of your life with yourself, and running away from yourself. It’s exhausting to be the one who is always holding on last.
But in the end, no matter how much you try to run away from yourself — you still on the same pavement.
I am trying to show people love even though it’s fuck up.
